As a child, I remember almost all my friends gravitated toward idolizing someone, whether a famous singer, a beautiful movie or television star, or a sports legend. Many of my girlfriends and I faithfully watched Charlie's Angels. Then we would pretend we WERE Charlie's Angels, while fighting over who got to be Farrah Fawcett :).
I didn't really need a famous person to idolize, because I had Cindy. After my dad became a Christian, we started attending a really good church in Red Bluff, called First Church of God. I wanted so badly to learn how to play piano. I was still 6 years old at the time. There was a new, young married couple in the church, who had just moved down to Red Bluff from Portland, OR. Rod became the assistant pastor, and his wife, Cindy, who had a degree in music, took over the piano playing position at church, and wanted to start giving piano lessons on the side. This was my perfect opportunity - and I begged my parents to let me take lessons from her.
I was her first piano student. Cindy not only had an incredible gift at the piano, but she could sing even more beautifully than she played. I expressed to her an interest in singing and playing, the way she did on Sunday mornings. By the time I was in 4th grade, she had me singing and accompanying myself on the piano, regularly. I remember even playing and singing Keith Green songs starting at the age of 10.
Cindy could see my interest and aptitude, and always found new ways to challenge me. Also at the age of 10, I performed in my own recital - I played 14 songs, all from memory - Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, etc.. I remember being scared to death. I remember not wanting to do it at all, but she made me do it :), because she knew I could.
To add to all her musical talents, Cindy was the most beautiful lady I had ever seen. She was a Rose Festival princess. Even to this day, I've never known any one quite as beautiful. AND she had the personality and sweetness of an angel. I know she had faults, but I couldn't see them at that age. You can see why I idolized her! I visited her home for lessons every week (give or take a few weeks here and there, of course) for 9 years. I became like a daughter to her, and she became like a second mother to me. All I wanted in life was to be like Cindy.
As the years went by, I picked up so much from Cindy - many of her mannerisms, etc.. Her influence in my life is immeasurable. But as I grew older, I also began to realize that I was NOT Cindy, no matter how much I tried to be like her. I was not as beautiful as she, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had a much different personality - I was more introspective and introverted, and she was an extrovert who had no trouble socializing with anyone, friend or stranger. This humbled and vexed me greatly - I couldn't quite attain to what she was. And it helped to balance out my confidence, even pride in my musical accomplishments.
When I grew up, I was able to look back, and to see how God had blessed me with this relationship. First of all, he brought someone into my life who was able to nurture my interests and talents in music. He gave me the example of a wonderful Godly woman to admire and aspire to. But my relationship with Cindy also helped to develop in me a humility and realistic opinion of myself, as I looked at myself in contrast to her. And I had to learn to accept, that just as God gave me a gift for music, He also gave me a particular personality and temperment, and a unique physical appearance - different from Cindy or anyone else, and that was OK. I eventually learned just be content with who God made me to be, and yet so thankful for His grace in bringing a very special person into my life.
Lastly, I want to mention that the greatest gift Cindy ever gave me, was a knowledge that suffering produces beauty and character. I have mentioned a lot of her qualities, but the one I have saved for last is that Cindy lived through much suffering. Her father died of a heart attack when she was only 9 years old. Her mother died of cancer when she was 18 and a freshman at Warner Pacific College. And lastly, Cindy herself had a blood disease. During our visits at her house, she talked a lot about her parents and all she had gone through. She always had a good lesson to share about what she learned through it all. She was dignified and strong and very accomplished, and I had enough sense to figure out that a lot of that could be traced back to what she had endured in her young life. I even prayed often, that if it took suffering to produce a richness of character and strength and beauty like hers, then so be it.
I didn't really need a famous person to idolize, because I had Cindy. After my dad became a Christian, we started attending a really good church in Red Bluff, called First Church of God. I wanted so badly to learn how to play piano. I was still 6 years old at the time. There was a new, young married couple in the church, who had just moved down to Red Bluff from Portland, OR. Rod became the assistant pastor, and his wife, Cindy, who had a degree in music, took over the piano playing position at church, and wanted to start giving piano lessons on the side. This was my perfect opportunity - and I begged my parents to let me take lessons from her.
I was her first piano student. Cindy not only had an incredible gift at the piano, but she could sing even more beautifully than she played. I expressed to her an interest in singing and playing, the way she did on Sunday mornings. By the time I was in 4th grade, she had me singing and accompanying myself on the piano, regularly. I remember even playing and singing Keith Green songs starting at the age of 10.
Cindy could see my interest and aptitude, and always found new ways to challenge me. Also at the age of 10, I performed in my own recital - I played 14 songs, all from memory - Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, etc.. I remember being scared to death. I remember not wanting to do it at all, but she made me do it :), because she knew I could.
To add to all her musical talents, Cindy was the most beautiful lady I had ever seen. She was a Rose Festival princess. Even to this day, I've never known any one quite as beautiful. AND she had the personality and sweetness of an angel. I know she had faults, but I couldn't see them at that age. You can see why I idolized her! I visited her home for lessons every week (give or take a few weeks here and there, of course) for 9 years. I became like a daughter to her, and she became like a second mother to me. All I wanted in life was to be like Cindy.
As the years went by, I picked up so much from Cindy - many of her mannerisms, etc.. Her influence in my life is immeasurable. But as I grew older, I also began to realize that I was NOT Cindy, no matter how much I tried to be like her. I was not as beautiful as she, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had a much different personality - I was more introspective and introverted, and she was an extrovert who had no trouble socializing with anyone, friend or stranger. This humbled and vexed me greatly - I couldn't quite attain to what she was. And it helped to balance out my confidence, even pride in my musical accomplishments.
When I grew up, I was able to look back, and to see how God had blessed me with this relationship. First of all, he brought someone into my life who was able to nurture my interests and talents in music. He gave me the example of a wonderful Godly woman to admire and aspire to. But my relationship with Cindy also helped to develop in me a humility and realistic opinion of myself, as I looked at myself in contrast to her. And I had to learn to accept, that just as God gave me a gift for music, He also gave me a particular personality and temperment, and a unique physical appearance - different from Cindy or anyone else, and that was OK. I eventually learned just be content with who God made me to be, and yet so thankful for His grace in bringing a very special person into my life.
Lastly, I want to mention that the greatest gift Cindy ever gave me, was a knowledge that suffering produces beauty and character. I have mentioned a lot of her qualities, but the one I have saved for last is that Cindy lived through much suffering. Her father died of a heart attack when she was only 9 years old. Her mother died of cancer when she was 18 and a freshman at Warner Pacific College. And lastly, Cindy herself had a blood disease. During our visits at her house, she talked a lot about her parents and all she had gone through. She always had a good lesson to share about what she learned through it all. She was dignified and strong and very accomplished, and I had enough sense to figure out that a lot of that could be traced back to what she had endured in her young life. I even prayed often, that if it took suffering to produce a richness of character and strength and beauty like hers, then so be it.
i am so glad you had this person in your life. i bet that you touched her life in ways you will never know.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Erika! A few years ago, Wes recorded and made a CD of me playing Christmas piano music, and I thought it would be most fitting to send a copy to her. She wrote me back a long letter, that I still treasure. She said she enjoyed the CD very much, etc.. and that she considered it a privelige to have played such a large role in my life. The letter was a huge blessing to me.
ReplyDeleteKristen, how wonderful to read this. I am looking forward to reading more of your posts! You are so very beautiful, inside and out much like you describle Cindy to us! What an amazing wife and mother you are. I have admired you from the very moment I met you! Love you lots.
ReplyDeleteErin, that means a lot to me...especially coming from one who knows me well...faults and all! :) And I admire you and love you too, a great deal!
ReplyDelete